a kind of homesick

So I don't know if it's the changing seasons, or g-chatting with my old roommates, or watching too many reruns of Sex & the City on E!, but over the last couple of weeks I've been cultivating a serious case of homesickness for New York. Something was in the air, because the instant I allowed myself to think, Gee, I kinda miss the city, reminders were everywhere. Julia did a stellar spread of NY photos; Joanna started a Guide to NY special; 2 Broke Girls turned out to be full of NY-centered jokes (which as it happens, are really funny; I sort of wish Kat Dennings was my friend).

It always starts with something simple. I think: If I were still living in the city, what would I be doing today? And I actually consider some options: walking around Chinatown, getting dumplings from the take-out window & eating them on the bench by the soccer turf on Grand Street, watching the young Spanish guys play a serious game of pick-up in their neon jerseys. And then after that strolling east for gelato, or if I needed to take a load off, going for tea & cake at Teany.

And then I start beating myself up: why didn't I go to the Met more often? Why didn't I see more ballets/operas/Broadway shows/independent movies? Why did I always go to the same little cafes & restaurants all the time, when there are dozens of amazing cafes & restaurants opening every week?!

What it comes down to is a feeling of homesickness for the New Yorker that I briefly was--the person who told herself, Oh, the MoMA will always be there! I can go whenever! That feeling of ownership, or belonging, or both; I really miss it sometimes. Much as I love the spacious, bucolic New England setting I'm living in right now, I'm not the same person who wore a bright yellow beret & walked thirty blocks to dinner & got dressed up for things & read constantly, everywhere, on the subway, in the park, in elevators...

When I lived in NY I always told myself, When I go back to school, I'm going to wear jeans & sneakers every day & it's gonna be AWESOME.

I need to keep reminding myself that, because I do. And it is.

Photos are mine.