in the past 24 hrs.

Last night I babysat for a friend who had friends visiting, friends who have a five year-old named Jonah. I'm not crazy about the name Jonah, but he makes it look good. It was a strange night of meeting all these people for the first time--my friend's husband, her friend, her friend's husband--& then being left in that big house that had no evidence of any child's presence whatsoever--no toys/small shoes/finger paintings--except for the child himself. And his collection of Godzillas.

So we watched a few episodes of The Magic School Bus, all of which he'd obviously seen many times before, because he looked at me just before every joke to make sure I laughed. He was very sweet, very smart, & at one point, when I explained that I lived in a different town from where we now were, he said, "I see," like a little professor.

Jonah went to bed on his air mattress at 8, & then I was left all alone in their big, beautiful, Pottery Barn-styled home. Originally a boot factory (then a Mason's lodge "for the next hundred years," she told me) the place is laid out around one large main room with excruciatingly high ceilings, exposed beams, old wide-plank floors, overlooked by a kind of loft room where the TV is. I sat down in the living room on a squishy leather armchair, reading the June issue of Bon Appétit (with Gwyneth on the cover--whaaa?), looking up every few minutes to say to myself, What in the world am I doing here? There were blue glass bottles on the kitchen windowsill & a wine bottle held a bouquet of wild grass on the end table (I know that sounds nuts, but it looked amazing). I ate an apple & turned lamps on when it got dark out & drove home on the windy farm roads with the crescent moon right in front of me.

***

This morning I was sitting on the couch happily eating an English muffin with honey & watching Martha Stewart drink sangria with Meredith on the Today Show when I remembered that I had to be at Oliver's house at 9:45. In other words, in twenty minutes. There was much running, face scrubbing, clothes flinging, & then all of a sudden I was pushing a baby stroller down the bike path as if nothing had happened at all.

***

It was boiling hot out, & I, in turn, was boiling. Out of nowhere I got this really strong urge to pull on an XL t-shirt over my bathing suit & hit the road, 1996-style. So I did (minus the t-shirt). I walked next door to the little inn & sat by their pool for a while, reading my book, & I thought to myself, What in the world am I doing here? Then when I was too hot & my forearms were starting to redden & plump a little like cooked hot dogs, I jumped in the deep end & paddled around, even though I was the only one there. I stayed in for as long as I could before I got cold/bored & then I sat on my lounge chair to sun-dry & finish the chapter.